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Yes, focusing on what's inside is more important — but that's easier said than done.

It's hard to ignore something as obvious as height, especially if it makes a person stand out.

There's nothing I can do about my height to resist these norms, but I can certainly say that I'm not a "small" person, aside from physically, and guys come to see that soon after meeting me.

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As someone who mostly — though not exclusively — dates men, I feel like my height has helped me a lot with dating, because men unconsciously perceive me as "normal," and I don't activate their unconscious transphobia as badly.

I think the bigger issue is how comfortable random men are talking to me about my body.

My height isn't a purely aesthetic feature you can comment on candidly, like a coat or a hat.

I understand everyone has their preferences, but it's always been the most baffling thing to me how some people unabashedly put things like "Under 5'10" need not apply" right in their profile, dismissing someone right off the bat based on something so superficial.

Though in fairness, when I see someone write something like that, I immediately lose attraction to their personality anyway.




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Not everyone on Internet dating sites is looking for love; some may be hoping to scam their next potential victim. Phil says there are typical ways in which online dating con artists work.


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