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I’ve met a man and we’ve been dating nearly a year. He’s got a job, financially secure, unattached, doesn’t drink/use drugs and has never even said a cross word to me. I don’t feel the same intensity of feeling that I had with past relationships. So much heartache and so many life lessons for sure.We have common interests and activities and I enjoy spending time with him. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come to love him, but it just doesn’t feel like fireworks. Are the fireworks missing because I don’t recognize a good relationship when I see one? After a past like mine, how can you tell when you’re finally on the right track? I am happy that you reached out to a therapist are consciously trying to choose better partners avoiding the toxic patterns of the past. Do you have a pesky question burning a hole in your pocket? It might be true that your partner doesn’t love you as much anymore; but that statement is arguable. “When _____, I feel _____.” You can’t argue with someone’s feelings, but you can argue with what might be causing those feelings. [image: via Ed Yourdon on flickr] Ready for conscious, like-minded individuals you really want to meet? For example, “You don’t love me as much anymore.” That is arguable. A truer statement would be “When we don’t spend as much time together during the week, I feel ignored and disconnected from you.” In that statement you are stating a fact (what’s happening) and how you feel in response to it. And if anything in their reflection is not accurate, then correct it. Is there any anger or other negative emotions that aren’t being expressed? Find out more at jeffreyplatts.com, follow him on Facebook and tweet him at @jeffreyplatts. One technique that works well is after your partner shares, you repeat back what you heard: “What I heard you say is ____.” And then they do the same after you’ve shared. Are you not taking care of yourselves physically/mentally/spiritually? After you’ve both heard each other share what’s really going on and you both feel seen and heard, it’s time to co-create your next steps. He brings to his coaching and writing the latest and best practices in personal growth, communication, technology, sexuality, masculine/feminine dynamics and spirituality.Honeslty didn't think I'd go out with him again.... There has to be a connection and a desire to be with that person. When I was younger, I would have pursued anything that looked good to have as many "on call" booty calls as humanly possible.I would rather be alone the rest of my life, then be with someone that I was not meant to be with. Sometimes it takes getting to know a person well to know if you are truly attracted to them. But, if your looking for something meaningful, what's the point in pursuing it if there isn't a "Spark"??? For me if there is no spark on the first date then it's a no go.

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So after you get to share your own experience, pause and just listen to your partner next. Know that just as the conversation is vulnerable for you, it’s likely vulnerable for them, too. He is one of the lead facilitators for the Authentic Man Program, a life-changing course for men, and has led over 70 personal growth, dating, and consciousness workshops.

But most of the time I'm willing to give it a couple of trys and if nothing develops then, Oh Well, keep looking. :)__In my mid-twenty I was working with this lady who totally hated me.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained and in the world of people everyone deserves a couple of chances. She could not stand being in the same room with me.

Sometimes there is a spark and sometimes there isn't....... If there is still no spark, there is no reason to continue and work for a relationship.

I met someone and wasn't really interested on the 1st date.. I do not see the point in being with someone unless the feelings for him will grow to love.

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