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Really engaging with the linear progression of time has been especially difficult for me, as I tend to believe in magical processes and am deeply attracted to the idea of things just “working out”. (By the way, this is very typical of my numerology life path number. Retain a bit of mystery and avoid sending him a friend request until you’ve got to know each other better. Pay attention to the introductions – We guys are extremely territorial (even though we may not know it) and once we’ve come to the conclusion that this is the woman we want, we’ll start saying things like “This is my girlfriend, Sarah”.Once he has started calling you his girlfriend, babe, woman, or even his other half, he won’t stop.

Most fundamentally, it’s about learning to appreciate and respect time.

Figuring out what is going on in a guy’s mind in the first few weeks of dating would really help a woman feel more assured, knowing that she is in control of the situation.

Here are a few tips to get you moving in the right direction.

Do not tell the entirety of Your Life Story over appetizers. Do not think your chemistry means you are meant to be together “forever and ever”. Do not believe that you’ve “fallen in love” with someone you’ve never met. Do not believe that you’ve “fallen in love” after 5 minutes of conversation. Do not believe that you’ve “fallen in love” after 5 hours of conversation. Do not allow yourself to believe that you “know” someone you’ve just met because you engage in mutually pleasurable inter-subjective communication. Do not write/send romantic poetry or love letters in the first few weeks of dating. Do not sext before you’re in a committed relationship. Do not agree to/ask for a committed relationship before 90 days. Do not move in together (or spend every night together) within the first few months of dating. Do not share every thought or emotion you have as soon as it arises. Do not confuse budding intimacy with real intimacy. DO establish boundaries at the onset of relationship. DO allow for trust and intimacy to build over time. DO know that real, enduring love develops from getting to know someone. DO remind yourself that no matter how close you feel, your beautiful new friend is a stranger. DO recall that friendship grows from spending time together. DO understand that YOU are worth taking time to ensure that the person you’re involved with is a good match. DO understand that if you are a good match, the two of you will have plenty of time for sex in the future. DO have the courage to allow yourself to become comfortable with the following feelings: anticipation, uncertainty, sexual tension, nervousness. DO allow yourself to consciously experience romantic desires, wishes, hopes and dreams – but do not confuse your projections with the person you are getting to know. DO allow yourself to progressively engage in emotional vulnerability with your new friend as you establish, over TIME, that it is safe to share your heart with this person. DO allow your physical affection and intimacy to incrementally develop as trust and emotional intimacy grow. DO engage in a lot of different activities together. DO have an active friendship circle/social life outside of dating. DO have hobbies and passions that you nurture regularly. DO reflect on the mistakes you’ve made in the past by rushing into romance. DO have fun and go with the flow, while knowing that you cannot control the outcome of this relationship. DO remember to constantly nourish your self love and self care. DO maintain a playful, curious, compassionate approach to dating.

DO know that you are fucking awesome, no matter what.

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